Yesterday night…

yesterday was a really awkward night. I don’t know.

taking recruits to Dan’s home, not sure if I’ll get a refund on that. We waited for like less than 30 minutes, but there is no 39, so we got onto a taxi. paid 3 dollars tips, are you crazy… I hated when people do that, it’s not your credit card, and you used it to pay so much tips, it’s like 30% geezz…

one girl is very opinionated, talkative.. just makes me think how people think about me as a candidate.

Andrew seems pretty close with Andrew, he is a very nice guy, seriously…but the fact that he is leaving biggest problem. Dated with Alicia before, big problem. JQ’s close friend…big problem…filled with curiosity but not much to do…

-awkward moment: I don’t understand a lot of the conversation, nor that I have the energy…just fell right off..it’s strange, it’s been like that for the longeset time, science-wise, regular conversation wise

-after dinner, wanted to leave with him, but then I took the bag and stuff in and went back, weird, stayed knowing that he stay.

-don’t know there is a bell at Dan’s home.

-stayed with him at the reception place.

Anyway, he is nice, first deciding to go to 39 with me, although that didn’t happen. Then take the T to cambridge, and then take the T back to central with me. doesn’t need to do that…nice person.

anyway, everything is timing, timing and timing…

sent a message at night in the end, didn’t add as friend tho, but let it be it then.
He was mentioning about Andre, but haha…took me soooo long to think that it’s him…I guess I’m moving on..but it’s time. I should do that.

Just want to fix my stupidity…seriously

I think it’s not like I’m belitting myself, but…I just being like a not good enough person…
Need to get more motivations to change myself…develope new hobbies etc….

“retractwatch”
“gerogechurch tek talk”
“sebastian tek talk”
Darcy case
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Darsee

https://www.google.com/search?q=sebastin+tek+talk&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#q=sebastian+ted+talk

“””what do you learn from it???” connectome, innteractome, genome, brain bow”

gas law, patriots

110814 – sat

110814
– eat lunch
– finish breast cancer assignment for next Wed in lib
– design transfection protocol
– split cells (7p.m.)
– have dinner in T-MEC
– read couple more papers, get back home at around 11:00p.m.

110914
– Cook at home for next week
– have noodle lunch at home
– Transfection around noon
– lib?
– update notebook and analyze some data on Miguel’s computer???
– have dinner in T-Mec/lab
– stay in lib till 11:00p.m.

110714 – let it be the last day?

I seriously don’t know if I can do it…I really don’t know..

Yesterday, I got mad at him, because I feel annoyed to heard him around…Sining keep asking me to be normal again. What does it mean by be normal? I feel that he being normal with Miguel, with Anthony, but never with me.

The past year, living with hope, I had the picture out. I knew walking out of it would be difficult. That time, it was like 3 years…the worse thing is, I never go out to meet people.

Today, I ran back to take a shower, yesterday I took two bottles of sparkling water, today, I went out with a scarf…but I don’t have courage to take it out.

no…I don’t think I can be a normal friend again… it’s impossible..
it’s true that once upon a time during the past year, I thought of it…but it doesn’t happen anymore…

there is a picture on his screen, I peeked…but, girls or guys…I have no right to know

if life can be a bit better…pls let it be a bit better…