Sunday before CNY

What’s the point of life. And what’s happening to me?

Yesterday, get up at a decent time in the morning, then went to Apple to get MBA. Now might go back to exchange it to Mac Book Pro with retina display? If I go to lab in the afternoon, then I could save some time for tomorrow. 

  • find out clothes for shadowing tomorrow.
  • update all cell culture things.
  • prepare enough media for Christian.
  • freeze down most of the cell lines.
  • pack the luggage to go back to NYC
  • print out the bus info. for NYC

Yesterday, I just eat watch, eat watch, eat watch the whole day. And slept around mid-night. Gosh I sneeze so much that I feel like someone is cursing me from time to time. I do need to take a shower and make myself look normal again.

It was rather only when Andre first left me, but then, I’m going crazy? Or I guess I’m just lonely. It sucks, it really sucks, in a way that the past 3-4 years adapting to be single again under my parents along my side, I’m sad, but I put all my anger to my parents. I’m such a bad person. But now, I’m on my own. Last night, I was even thinking about. How about get back to okcupid and really try out some short term things. In the end, I just feel that hanging out with S* really ruined my life a bit. It’s like from time to time, there are comparisons, and that is extremely annoying. I don’t like people following me around, I want the other way round. I want some personal times, and I want no one to know when I’m in my nerdy self. S* has a lot of things about this life theory, which is stupid. Who cares, and obviously there is no answer to some questions about life, it’s how you want to live your own life. Everyone is different. And what is the point of observing how people lives and you always follows and mimic that life of others? And it’s sounds scary to me that one would break down from no figuring out the questions of life. I seriously don’t like this influence, but it’s tiring that I need to hide my true self and feelings from moment to moment. I want absolutely freedom.

Lab is rather lonely these days. I think Yuan stop coming to lab in weird hours, so does Tiger. I don’t know. Two german students were in lab now. I don’t like Andreas very much, so he is indeed independent in a way that he could figure out things on his own. During happy hour on Friday night (btw, I should not touch alcohol anymore, just not good for me, even one drink killed me), ya, Miguel was saying, oh, if someone not looking at you into your eyes, then they are underage for drinking. And from no where, this Andreas guy was like she’s not looking into your eyes because she has a boyfriend. I denied on spot. But, I just feel fishy about that comment. Seriously, who knows about what?

And Mona, seems really nerdy, but a nice person. I don’t have feeling towards her in particular. But somehow, I see myself in her. I bet she is smarter though.

Anyway, today, need to live like a real person! I haven’t start that stupid need exercise. Should try that, and then shower, make myself pretty again. And then update my lab notes. Go to lab! If I come back early or something, go to apple then.


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