THE valentines

Looks like I would ended up sleeping late today, no matter what. I guess because, I kept thinking about it.

I was curious early on why there’s this Lei Yu person, today randomly logging into things, ended up logging into a new facebook account with the gmail. And I saw this Lei Yu person. Must be someone who met in NE. Why do I feel a bit down? Because I’m being lonely. No, there’s no emotional attachment on this. Or, I really shoudn’t.

Couple days ago, I was happy about myself being able to forget about what 2.14 really is. But today, somehow, I feel heavy. Maybe because of the environment, probably because of the expectation. Would I receive flower this year? To be honest, I’m sure I won’t. But somehow, I don’t know why I always like to keep my expectations really high, and then disappoint myself even more. A* is not that kind of person, or, I should say, I know more than anyone else, I’m not the person who he cares enough in his heart to do this. Then, it gets to the question or, why did I sleep with him? Am I actually lonely to this level? I found myself really sad, and just want to find a hole to hide. People moving on, and I….

Today, overall is a successful day, and at least there were moment that I was happy before. I finished my first lab meeting, and got acknowledgement from people, but I need to continue working harder to not embrasses myself. And it’s Jessica’s farewell lunch, I was looking around people, and in the end, I found that things aren’t too bad after all. Although I don’t like K*, but still I chat with people, and I won’t stress to the level to have stomachache.

I was a bit mad for a moment, when Sining say that the cookout thing is at our home tomorrow with her lab people, but then later on, I clam down now.

In order not to disappoint myself, shall I not check facebook at all for tomorrow until 6p.m., the last moment thing would happen. If nothing happens, then..move on pls, Sharon, move on.

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