I’m changing…

Continue with the post from yesterday… before that, somehow I wanted to live alone, at the same time, I’m worried that I would be too lonely.

Anyway, It actually all started on Sat night/Sun a.m. Getting really really drunk, and then slept over at Miguel’s bed. Ended up sleeping together. I mean I like the way that I have all the attention in the world, but other than that, am I just being too lonely. Today, the more I think about it, I get more scared about what I can even do. Seems like I loosen my limit more and more.

I can really fall into someone very quickly, but is that person really the right one for you?

To be honest, I really enjoy the way of being hugged or there is someone that I can hug. It is really close, I know I have touched and stuff, and it’s just not good. And I know the situation is not good. I wouldn’t say that he is taking advantage of me, at that moment in my mind, it was really… don’t be someone who sleep with everyone at a workplace, but I know I can get advantage from it somehow … I don’t know, I feel super complicated.

And today, it’s still very sweet that he picked to eat at Pirroon? because I can get closer to home. Some atthention that I never get before. Am I just amplifying it or what? Probably only because he feels a bit bad about Sat night. And honestly when Luica is here, dynamics and attention will shift very quickly. He also walk to home with her, and going down to help her move and stuff. How can european so 多情? And what I am thinking or feeling with Andre?

A solution that I found is that I should give up everything and stay fresh again. I don’t know..

One thing that I really should do is to catch up on research. so much to learn, and to get back on track. Please help me to stop procrastinating.

Today, I want to change. I register for the $85 bike class. I’ll look for housing. I’ll learn driving. Be strong, Sharon

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